Veronica's Thoughts
by RogueMustangMare
Summary: Just a little one-shot about Veronica after Cobalt's accident. Better summary inside.
1. Summary

This is just through Veronica's thoughts after the accident with Cobalt and how no one seems to understand her; and now that Cobalt is gone, she feels even lonelier now than ever. I was listening to the song, "What Hurts the Most", and it just seems to fit her. I know they never showed the hospital scene, but hey, that's what imagination is all about; and, since they never talked about the horse that Mr. and Mrs. Di'Angelo tried to buy for her, I thought I'd make it up with one of my own horses.


	2. Chapter One

We reached the final jump of the triple combination; I could feel Cobalt hesitate beneath me. I don't know why, but I raised my whip and hit him hard on his hindquarters; I hear Carole tell me to pull him up, but before I realized my mistake, it was too late.

Cobalt jumped the fence, and it seemed as if he would go clear; then, suddenly, his left foreleg gave out and we both fell to the ground.

White-hot pain seared through my arm; _Oh please God, let Cobalt be okay! _was the only thought in my mind.

I could hear people screaming my name, but I paid no attention; I looked over at Cobalt. He was standing up, but he was favoring his left foreleg. _No, please let it be just a strained tendon! I don't care if I have to ride one of the school horses; just let him be okay!_'

My parents show up along with Dr. Judy; my mom and Kristy are going to take me to the hospital. "Is he going to be okay, Daddy?" I ask my father.

"I don't know, sweetheart, we'll have to wait and see what the vet says," said my father. "But you have to go to the hospital."

"I want to stay with him!" I protested, but my mother firmly, but gently loaded me into the car; I turn around in my seat, hoping to catch a glimpse of my horse, but my mother was already driving away. _Please, let him be okay; please! I don't know what I will do without Cobalt!_

We reached the hospital and I was immediately rushed into the Exam Room; I did not hear what the doctor was saying, or even feel what they were doing. My thoughts were with my horse.

Did Dr. Judy just find a strained tendon? Was he just bruised? Would he be alright to ride again after my arm is healed? Oh please, let him be okay; I will do anything to keep him. I'll take care of him every day, I will ride him on the trails; we'll be the perfect team. Just please; give me one more chance to make things right with him.

The doctor wants to keep me overnight in case I have a concussion; I don't want to stay here! I want to go back to Pine Hollow and see my horse!

My mother goes out to buy some magazines for me to read while I'm there; my mind keeps replaying the accident. I can't believe I whipped him! Why didn't I listen to him? He was trying to tell me to slow down, but I wouldn't; oh please, let me have one more chance to make everything right!

My mother comes back with a pile of horse magazines and I start looking through them, trying to pass the time until my dad comes back; what is taking him so long? I see a picture of a black Thoroughbred that looks so much like Cobalt, jumping a six-foot oxer. That's what I want to do, someday; is become a famous Show Jumper.

My father comes into the room.

"Is Cobalt alright, daddy?" I ask him.

My father looks at my mother and sighs.

"What's wrong?" I ask. "Is he alright?"

"Darling, the vet says that, Cobalt broke his cannon bone," he said. "And that, even with surgery, there's no guarantee that he'll recover."

"And . . ." I ask.

"Their recommendation was to . . . put him to sleep," he said.

"NO!" I cry.

"Darling, if he stays alive, he would have been in a lot of pain," he said.

"But, there must be some way!" I cry; I replayed his words. _Would have been? _"And what do you mean by, 'Would have been'? He's still alive isn't he?"

My father does not answer.

"Isn't he?" I cry.

My father sighs. "I am sorry, darling, I had the vet put him to sleep an hour ago," he said.

"NO!" I cry. "Why didn't you let me say good-bye?"

"Because we had to make a decision right then and there," he said.

Tears flow down my cheeks as the news sank in. _My horse was dead; and it was my entire fault!_

"But don't you worry, with the insurance money we'll be getting, we'll be able to buy you a new horse," said my father.

Anger surged through me. "I don't want a new horse! I want Cobalt back!"

My parents frightened by my sudden outburst, called in for a nurse, who gave me a sedative, which immediately put me to sleep.

The next day, was Cobalt's funeral; I had cried all of my tears already, and my tear ducts were dried up.

_ I can take the rain_

_On the roof of this empty house_

_That don't bother me_

_I can take a few tears now and then_

_And just let 'em out_

_I'm not afraid to cry every once and awhile_

_Even though going on with you gone_

_Still upsets me_

_There are days every now and again_

_I pretend I'm okay_

_But that's not what gets me_

_ Cobalt I am so sorry; if I can take back that accident, I'd do it in a heartbeat _I thought. _Please, God, send me back my horse; I need him! _I didn't hear anything that Max said, nor felt Mrs. Reg's hand on my shoulder; nobody says anything, as Carole laid a bouquet of wildflowers that she had picked from Cobalt's favorite pasture.

After the service, I sit quietly in my parents' car, looking out the window at the beautiful Virginia country-side; to think that when me and my parents had first moved here, I wanted nothing more than to go back home.

"We have a little surprise for you darling," said my father.

"What is it?" I asked cautiously.

My father held up a bank statement. "The money from the insurance came back and we've already started looking for a horse for you; any preferences?"

"Daddy, I told you, I don't want another horse!" I shouted at him.

_What hurts the most_

_Is being so close_

_And having so much to say_

_And watching you walk away_

_And never knowin'_

_What could have been_

_And not seeing that love in you_

_Is what I was trying to do_

"Nonsense, darling, what else are you going to ride? One of those nags?" asked my father as he pulled up into our driveway.

"I don't want another horse, or pony; I want Cobalt back! And nothing's going to change that!" I shouted jumping out of my parents' car and running up the steps and into the house; I ignored everyone and ran up into my room. I slammed the door and threw myself onto my bed, forgetting about my arm; pain shot through my arm as my weight put pressure on it. "Ow!" I cry out, rolling onto my good side; I look at my left arm. _Oh, Cobalt, will I ever get the chance to tell you I'm sorry? I wish I can just go back in time and stop myself from challenging Sammy to that dare. Cobalt, I'm sorry! Please come back!_

_It's hard to deal with the pain of losing you_

_Everywhere I go, but I'm doing it_

_It's hard to force that smile when I see our old friends_

_And I'm alone_

_Still hard of getting up, getting dressed_

_Living with this regret_

_But I know, if I could do it over_

_I would trade, give away, show the words that I say_

_In my heart, that I left unspoken_

"Veronica?" asked the sound of my mother's voice; it had been two weeks since the accident, but it felt like it had just happened yesterday.

I turn over to see my mother looking happy about something. "Yes, mom?" I ask sitting up.

"We have a surprise for you after breakfast," she replied. "So, come on, get dressed, and meet us in the dining room." She stood up and walked toward my door, closing it softly behind her.

I sigh and rolled off my bed; with a little help from one of the maids, I was dressed, and I walked down to the dining room. My parents were already seated at the table, with steaming-hot breakfast already laid out; I sat down in my seat and nibbled a little on a biscuit. "So, what's going on?" I asked.

"You'll see," replied my father.

I sighed and went back to eating. _I hope's it's not about a horse for sale _I thought; I thought back to the day, I got Cobalt.

*Flashback . . .*

_ "When do I get my surprise?" I asked._

_ "Just a few more minutes, darling," replied my father._

_ "Alright, stand here," said my mother positioning me in front of something._

_ "Are you ready?" I heard my father say._

_ "Ready when you are," replied a voice that sounded like Red, the stable-hand._

_ "Alright, open your eyes," said my father._

_ My mother removed her hands and I open my eyes to see . . . "Oh, daddy, he's gorgeous!" I cried._

_ "His name is Cobalt, and he's yours," said my father. "He's a registered Thoroughbred stallion, and has been trained for Show Jumping."_

_ I was speechless; my own horse! And a Thoroughbred stallion at that; what more could I ask?_

_ "Well, aren't you going to say something?" asked my mother._

_ "I-I don't know what to say," I replied._

_ "Darling, why don't you take Cobalt for a ride?" suggested my father holding out my riding helmet._

_ I smiled, grabbed my helmet, buckled it on, and untied Cobalt from the crossties; he sniffed at my collar and blew gently on my neck. I led him toward the indoor arena, mounted, and started warming him up; as soon as I was on his back, I knew he and I would get along just fine. He listened to my every command; his walk was graceful, I couldn't even feel his trot. And his canter felt like we were flying._

_ After doing some simple schooling figures, I brought him back down to the walk, and cooled him down; I rode him back over to my parents._

_ "So, what do you think of him?" asked my mother._

_ "He's the greatest, mom," I replied._

_ "Good, he should take you all the way to the top," said my father._

_ I bent down and wrapped my arms around his slender neck. _I don't care if we place or not, I love him no matter what _I thought._

*End Flashback . . .*

My father drained his cup of coffee. "Are you ready?" he asked.

"Yes, daddy," I replied; I saw my parents look at each other worriedly.

"Sweetie, you have to start living again," said my mother. "What happened, happened; and there is nothing you can do about it."

I said nothing as we walked out toward the car, got in, my father started the engine, and we drove out of the driveway; as we drove on in silence, I looked out at the passing scenery.

Mostly it was just a bunch of nice mansions; but, after half-an-hour, the scenery changed to beautifully landscaped farms. I stiffened. _They didn't _I thought, but, then my father turned into the driveway of Wishman Stables. "No, daddy turn around! I don't want a horse!" I screamed.

"Darling, just take a look," he said. "You need a horse once your arm heals; I will not let you ride one of those stable horses!"

"But Max said . . ." I began.

"I don't care what Max says, you are my daughter, and I will not tolerate you being forced to ride one of those horses!" said my father pulling into a parking space in front of the barn.

_What hurts the most_

_Is being so close_

_And having so much to say_

_And watching you walk away_

_And never knowin'_

_What could have been_

_And not seeing that love in you_

_Is what I was trying to do, oh . . ._

My father cuts the engine and gets out along with my mother; I have no choice but to follow. A man comes out and shakes hands with my father.

"Hello, Mr. Di'Angelo, welcome to Wishman Stables," he said. "I am Mr. Taylor, you wanted to see some of my horses?"

"Yes sir, for our daughter," said my father pointing toward me. "She can't ride yet, but, we would like to pick out a horse for her when she gets better."

"Ah, I see, well, what kind of horse are you looking for?" asked Mr. Taylor.

"Only the best, one that is good for Jumping and Dressage," replied my mother. "A stallion or a gelding at least."

"Hmm," said Mr. Taylor. "I have a few stallions that are up for sale; she'll have to be a good rider."

I opened my mouth to speak, but my father spoke up.

"Oh she is," said my father. "She had a horse before the accident; we just don't want her to ride one of the stable nags at Pine Hollow."

I gaped at my father. _I am a good rider, but if I am to become the best rider, I need to ride said stable nags _I thought angrily. "Daddy, I . . ." I began.

"Well, let's take a look at some of the horses," said Mr. Taylor and led us in the direction of one of his barns.

I followed my parents into the cool dim barn; as I looked around, I did see a lot of gorgeous Thoroughbreds, Arabians, Warmbloods, and Spanish Horses. But, none of them came close to Cobalt's beauty; Mr. Taylor stopped outside a stall.

"This here is Indigo Sky; he's a seven year old, registered Dutch Warmblood stallion, stands at seventeen hands high, and is trained for both Show Jumping and Dressage," said Mr. Taylor.

I looked at the horse; Indigo was a blue-roan Dutch Warmblood stallion, and he was huge. Too big for me. "He's too big for me to control," I said.

"Alright, well, over here next to him, is Summer Storm; he's an eight year old Trakehner/Thoroughbred stallion, stands at sixteen hands high, and is trained for Show Jumping," said Mr. Taylor.

I looked at Storm; he was a lightly-dappled-gray but I couldn't find anything wrong with him. He was the right height for me, but . . . I wasn't ready for my own horse yet.

_Oh . . . yeah . . ._

_What hurts the most . . . _

_Is being so close_

_And having so much to say_

_And watching you walk away_

"He's okay, I guess," I said sounding non-committed.

"Well, there are still plenty of other horses, so, if you will all follow me," said Mr. Taylor.

We looked at dozens more horses, before my parents said that we would think about Storm; after we got home, I went straight to my room and slammed the door shut. I threw myself onto my bed and cried every tear that had not come in weeks, ignoring the pain in my arm.

_ I DON'T WANT ANOTHER HORSE! _I wanted to scream in my head. _I WANT COBALT BACK! PLEASE COBALT, COME BACK! PLEASE! I NEED YOU!_

_And never knowing_

_What could have been_

_And not seeing that love in you_

_Is what I was trying to do_

_(Not seeing that love in you)_

_That's what I was trying to do_

_Oh . . . _


End file.
